Thursday, August 28, 2014
The Start
I miss writing.
I miss watching the news before I go to bed.
I miss being able to eat alone.
Today, I feel like someone constantly distracted. I pull the wool over my own eyes, so I don't have to face my problems. That's a really scary thought...
I can't seem to fall asleep naturally anymore. I fall asleep to shows and voices so I don't feel alone. I drift away to sitcoms so I don't have to hear myself think.
Today, I am tired of feeling hollow and unsubstantial. I want to try something new, be someone different. Okay, maybe not different. But better.
I think I can strive for better.
I'm looking forward to the new school year. I'm going to be working in my old lab, with some old friends. I'm taking some cool courses. I'm thinking about picking up a new hobby or activity. I'm applying to medical school... after so many years of only dreaming about it.
Do I have anxiety? Yes. Y-e-s, yes, 1000 times yes. I've had my low moments, and now I want to move on. I feel... hopeful, really hopeful at the moment, and I hope it lasts.
Tomorrow is a new day!!
I miss watching the news before I go to bed.
I miss being able to eat alone.
Today, I feel like someone constantly distracted. I pull the wool over my own eyes, so I don't have to face my problems. That's a really scary thought...
I can't seem to fall asleep naturally anymore. I fall asleep to shows and voices so I don't feel alone. I drift away to sitcoms so I don't have to hear myself think.
Today, I am tired of feeling hollow and unsubstantial. I want to try something new, be someone different. Okay, maybe not different. But better.
I think I can strive for better.
I'm looking forward to the new school year. I'm going to be working in my old lab, with some old friends. I'm taking some cool courses. I'm thinking about picking up a new hobby or activity. I'm applying to medical school... after so many years of only dreaming about it.
Do I have anxiety? Yes. Y-e-s, yes, 1000 times yes. I've had my low moments, and now I want to move on. I feel... hopeful, really hopeful at the moment, and I hope it lasts.
Tomorrow is a new day!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)