Sometimes I want to change up my blog but I don't know how and I just plain don't want to. Man I suck.
Went to dinner with Mr. Brown today. It was nice, really, it was. I ordered some steak w/e it was bad. I'm sorry I DON'T LIKE BIG CHUNKS OF MEAT UGH. I've tried it and now I'm moving on from it. And apparently, it was good meat, so....guess it is just personal taste.
I'm getting scared now. I saw where I was living, saw the atmosphere, everything, the neighborhood, I don't know...It's so scary, now that I think about it. I won't be home anymore. There won't be things to eat whenever I'm hungry. There won't be someone I can talk to when I need to. No one will peel me oranges or wash me grapes when I'm studying like a banshee. No one will tuck me in and check if my windows are locked and closed. No one will do my laundry and remember which is my favourite shirt without me having to tell them. I won't have anyone dragging me on walks. There will be no more random trips to anywhere. No one will tell me to go to sleep. No one will make me sugar water and bring me bananas and advils when I can't walk from cramps.
Maybe I should have grown up sooner, because that would make this so much easier. Because then, I would be stepping into bigger shoes, rather than being thrown into them.
I hope I can fill them...
I could go on...
No more wake up calls, or drives to school. No more feeling if I have a fever. No more asking permission to go anywhere. No one will be waiting for me to come home from school.
Mommy I think I will miss you coming into my room in the morning and opening my windows the most. Because no matter how many friends or awards or gifts or clothes or whatever I have, nothing will be able to replace the comfort of being waken up by you.
I'm really scared, but I guess I have to go...
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Friday, August 12, 2011
High School 2
I am drinking some Tropicana Orange juice...
Fruit juice in China is something special...You are lucky if it says "30% real fruit nectar!" on the label.
I went to Ikea today. I think that place has a very good business model. Don't cheat your customers. Charge enough to make a living, and enough to respect their living. Always keep thinking.
I bought 2 ice trays today. One was in the shape of little fish. The other was in the shape of rods. I also got my laundry hamper. It is one of those floppy folding ones...I don't need anything fancy.
My favourite part of today was looking at all the bedding. They have some really beautiful bedspreads...I'm particularly attracted to the flowery ones...but that's just me haha. There was a white bedspread with pink buds and green vines...it was so lush and dainty...possible!
My mommy said she had blankets for me already, so I could just pick a cover... It kind of makes me sad, that she's preparing for me leaving. It's depressing that my family is going to change once I move out, and it's all because of me. Someone told me a kid that leaves comes back differently - I guess we'll wait and see.
I'm submerging cherries in my orange drink. Theres an ice rod that I made from the ikea ice trays... Trying to cool down the cherries with the laws of thermodynamics. Y'know, heat lost = heat gained, yadda yadda yadda. Cherries float.
It is working.
I was thinking about high school today, after leaving ikea. Mandy said she bought her pots and pans there earlier. You know, I can barely remember my last days of high school. They don't really exist in my mind, and that is kind of sad. I remember my last exam, Law, and the anticlimatic spirit that went with it. The girls + Tony went to the mall, and then we ate noodles at my house. That was a sweet moment, but not from the school... I remember going back for report cards, but no one's heart was there... I guess it isn't amazing that there's been such a loss of affinity for a place that I loved so so so much. It's just the natural course, and I'm sorry Mr Brown but you were so right. I will always be looking at my high school days from the hindsight. I tried thinking about sitting in a classroom, back in those history/language rooms...it's far away already.
At my last cherry.
I like my cherries (make that apples, grapes, peaches, almost every fruit...and veggie...cept eggplant...no actually, even eggplant mmm.......) like my men: firm, fresh and sweet. Women too...haha...
I'm just thinking... Maybe if we never said anything to anyone that should get the response "did I ask?" we never really get to know anyone.
Do the things people say make them interesting? Or are the things people say interesting because of who they are?
I was thinking today...
I've known Mandy for 5 years...Sally for 5...Cassie for 5...Evgeny I can remember since elementary school...those pretty curls
I've known Tony when he was a little ESL kid, when he used to call me his sister..
Grace, you've haunted me since grade 2..
Billy...3 years...hey not bad buddy..
Alice...the first friend I made in a while
Harry, I hope we stay friends...you gave me so much confidence in myself
Who am I going to carry into the next portion of my life..
Who will I leave behind?
Or worse, who will leave me..
I am an easy girl.
An extra smile, a kind word, please..
That lingering moment
I'll see you all again in my dreams
Sitting around my locker
Number 333.
Fruit juice in China is something special...You are lucky if it says "30% real fruit nectar!" on the label.
I went to Ikea today. I think that place has a very good business model. Don't cheat your customers. Charge enough to make a living, and enough to respect their living. Always keep thinking.
I bought 2 ice trays today. One was in the shape of little fish. The other was in the shape of rods. I also got my laundry hamper. It is one of those floppy folding ones...I don't need anything fancy.
My favourite part of today was looking at all the bedding. They have some really beautiful bedspreads...I'm particularly attracted to the flowery ones...but that's just me haha. There was a white bedspread with pink buds and green vines...it was so lush and dainty...possible!
My mommy said she had blankets for me already, so I could just pick a cover... It kind of makes me sad, that she's preparing for me leaving. It's depressing that my family is going to change once I move out, and it's all because of me. Someone told me a kid that leaves comes back differently - I guess we'll wait and see.
I'm submerging cherries in my orange drink. Theres an ice rod that I made from the ikea ice trays... Trying to cool down the cherries with the laws of thermodynamics. Y'know, heat lost = heat gained, yadda yadda yadda. Cherries float.
It is working.
I was thinking about high school today, after leaving ikea. Mandy said she bought her pots and pans there earlier. You know, I can barely remember my last days of high school. They don't really exist in my mind, and that is kind of sad. I remember my last exam, Law, and the anticlimatic spirit that went with it. The girls + Tony went to the mall, and then we ate noodles at my house. That was a sweet moment, but not from the school... I remember going back for report cards, but no one's heart was there... I guess it isn't amazing that there's been such a loss of affinity for a place that I loved so so so much. It's just the natural course, and I'm sorry Mr Brown but you were so right. I will always be looking at my high school days from the hindsight. I tried thinking about sitting in a classroom, back in those history/language rooms...it's far away already.
At my last cherry.
I like my cherries (make that apples, grapes, peaches, almost every fruit...and veggie...cept eggplant...no actually, even eggplant mmm.......) like my men: firm, fresh and sweet. Women too...haha...
I'm just thinking... Maybe if we never said anything to anyone that should get the response "did I ask?" we never really get to know anyone.
Do the things people say make them interesting? Or are the things people say interesting because of who they are?
I was thinking today...
I've known Mandy for 5 years...Sally for 5...Cassie for 5...Evgeny I can remember since elementary school...those pretty curls
I've known Tony when he was a little ESL kid, when he used to call me his sister..
Grace, you've haunted me since grade 2..
Billy...3 years...hey not bad buddy..
Alice...the first friend I made in a while
Harry, I hope we stay friends...you gave me so much confidence in myself
Who am I going to carry into the next portion of my life..
Who will I leave behind?
Or worse, who will leave me..
I am an easy girl.
An extra smile, a kind word, please..
That lingering moment
I'll see you all again in my dreams
Sitting around my locker
Number 333.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)