-Baked a crapload of cupcakes and decorated them :)
-Bought some flowers, gave my mother a card
-Ate dinner at Ala Kitchen (mmm...)
-Bought some snacks at Foody Mart
Yup!
Good times :)
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Saturday, May 12, 2012
U-Turn
Life is sort of a douche. In the nicest way possible, don't want to get on it's bad side. It just seems so unpredictable and topsy-turvy. I seriously can't find a way to describe it.
Now that I am in university, summer is not two months of golden relaxation. It is a four month stretch of "I need to find something to do with my life", amplified by the fact that everyone around you is more successful, more focused, more connected and more LUCKY than you.
Job hunting is awful... Rejection is play but rejectionS are bitter and always leave me hating myself. Why am I not good enough? What is so wrong about me?
I had been searching for a job since February. I had a lucky break when I got an interview at an EEB lab with professor Barrett, an evolution prof that taught me first term biology. I...was rejected T-T. Then I had two interviews for FLC, trin and international. And was rejected again.
Listen, I am not bitter or hurt or vindictive. I am just reminding myself of past follies and faults and that life is not easy. It does not go the way you want it too. Apart from this, I did not receive a single ROP, while my friends had offers from the get go.
It hurt my pride, bruised my ego, but I think I was humbled by it overall. I am not the best, but what I do is work hard and get myself through.
By then it was April, and things were not looking good. I scoured Craigslist and the Career website every night, ignoring my studies and homework. I was so desperate!!
I caught a bit of a lucky break when I found a job posting in a physio lab, working with insects. I had and interview and then school was over. The first year of my university life was over and what did I have to show for it??? Almost nothing. I had good marks but it didn't bring me anywhere. I had drive and curiosity but I was so discouraged that it hurt.
The interviewer had told me that they would get back to me in a week or so. I anxiously waited through a week, but no word came. I made wishes in fountains and stars and clocks. I really wanted the job, any job. I knew I could do it, given the chance. In the meantime, all I could do was salivate at the success of my peers. Internships at large companies, lab jobs with the government, assistant in the department of medicine - lists piled high, pressing down from above me. All this pressure, and all I could feel was frustration. There was nothing I could do to change my situation, I was pushing myself so hard, and that really hurt me. You can't FORCE life to work out. It will if it wants to.
After two weeks, I gave up on the bug job and started looking ahead. I booked appointments with professors to talk about the future. I researched career paths and tried to plan out my life. I felt happy for my employed friends and tried to help my unluckiest friends. Yes, I still felt that tug in my heart when someone achieved something great or experienced something wonderful, but I had my own life to live and had to make due with what I had.
Just as I had settled into a comfortable sense of self and acceptance, everything around me tumbled into place. How strange. All the effort I put in, cover letter after cover letter, resume after resume, and as I set my sights on less ambition dreams, all my summer dreams came true.
A few things happened. I got a position in a council as a webmaster. I joined a volunteer team to raise money for cancer. I met with a professor and had a long talk about the future. I was offered a research project and I took it. And most delightfully, I got the bug job. Just when I had given up hope, in two days, my research dreams were fulfilled, my extracurricular and community involvement was satisfied and my summer was golden.
I reckon that even though I like to do nothing, I am happiest when I am busy. The nights where I sit still and feel perfectly content about the day that had just passed always leaves me smiling. Time passes so quickly when there are lots of things to do, and I really hope this summer will be a great one. :)
I am sometimes so negative and sad, but I think it is because I can't control what happens. What I would do for a sign, some signal of what tomorrow holds. But these are things we never know, so I'll just have to remember what I have learned the last few days.
Life turns around. It can flip flop and change in seconds. Be patient yet chase down your dreams. Look forward but don't let go of the past. Hold tight to your beliefs yet keeps your hands open for new views. Dint be your own enemy.
So for the first time in a little while I am proud of myself. I earned it and I will relish it. I am my own person and these are accomplishments that I have gotten through determination, frustration and dare I say, a little luck.
I WILL KEEP DREAMING!
Now that I am in university, summer is not two months of golden relaxation. It is a four month stretch of "I need to find something to do with my life", amplified by the fact that everyone around you is more successful, more focused, more connected and more LUCKY than you.
Job hunting is awful... Rejection is play but rejectionS are bitter and always leave me hating myself. Why am I not good enough? What is so wrong about me?
I had been searching for a job since February. I had a lucky break when I got an interview at an EEB lab with professor Barrett, an evolution prof that taught me first term biology. I...was rejected T-T. Then I had two interviews for FLC, trin and international. And was rejected again.
Listen, I am not bitter or hurt or vindictive. I am just reminding myself of past follies and faults and that life is not easy. It does not go the way you want it too. Apart from this, I did not receive a single ROP, while my friends had offers from the get go.
It hurt my pride, bruised my ego, but I think I was humbled by it overall. I am not the best, but what I do is work hard and get myself through.
By then it was April, and things were not looking good. I scoured Craigslist and the Career website every night, ignoring my studies and homework. I was so desperate!!
I caught a bit of a lucky break when I found a job posting in a physio lab, working with insects. I had and interview and then school was over. The first year of my university life was over and what did I have to show for it??? Almost nothing. I had good marks but it didn't bring me anywhere. I had drive and curiosity but I was so discouraged that it hurt.
The interviewer had told me that they would get back to me in a week or so. I anxiously waited through a week, but no word came. I made wishes in fountains and stars and clocks. I really wanted the job, any job. I knew I could do it, given the chance. In the meantime, all I could do was salivate at the success of my peers. Internships at large companies, lab jobs with the government, assistant in the department of medicine - lists piled high, pressing down from above me. All this pressure, and all I could feel was frustration. There was nothing I could do to change my situation, I was pushing myself so hard, and that really hurt me. You can't FORCE life to work out. It will if it wants to.
After two weeks, I gave up on the bug job and started looking ahead. I booked appointments with professors to talk about the future. I researched career paths and tried to plan out my life. I felt happy for my employed friends and tried to help my unluckiest friends. Yes, I still felt that tug in my heart when someone achieved something great or experienced something wonderful, but I had my own life to live and had to make due with what I had.
Just as I had settled into a comfortable sense of self and acceptance, everything around me tumbled into place. How strange. All the effort I put in, cover letter after cover letter, resume after resume, and as I set my sights on less ambition dreams, all my summer dreams came true.
A few things happened. I got a position in a council as a webmaster. I joined a volunteer team to raise money for cancer. I met with a professor and had a long talk about the future. I was offered a research project and I took it. And most delightfully, I got the bug job. Just when I had given up hope, in two days, my research dreams were fulfilled, my extracurricular and community involvement was satisfied and my summer was golden.
I reckon that even though I like to do nothing, I am happiest when I am busy. The nights where I sit still and feel perfectly content about the day that had just passed always leaves me smiling. Time passes so quickly when there are lots of things to do, and I really hope this summer will be a great one. :)
I am sometimes so negative and sad, but I think it is because I can't control what happens. What I would do for a sign, some signal of what tomorrow holds. But these are things we never know, so I'll just have to remember what I have learned the last few days.
Life turns around. It can flip flop and change in seconds. Be patient yet chase down your dreams. Look forward but don't let go of the past. Hold tight to your beliefs yet keeps your hands open for new views. Dint be your own enemy.
So for the first time in a little while I am proud of myself. I earned it and I will relish it. I am my own person and these are accomplishments that I have gotten through determination, frustration and dare I say, a little luck.
I WILL KEEP DREAMING!
Macaroon May
So what did we do today?
It was a very beautiful day, the kind of May day with no clouds in the sky. Just an endless blue canvas that stretches out towards the horizons, streaked with sunlight. 18 degrees Celsius, beautiful spring weather by any standard (not just Canadian!). In the afternoon it almost felt like 20+ degrees, it was just that warm.
I love Spring!
I had slept pretty early the night before (just around 1:30 AM), but woke up very late. I finally got up at around 12:00 PM (even though we had plans to meet at around 11:30!). I made myself a pretty great sandwich of: tomato, cheese, a toasted croissant and honey mustard. Mmmm...... By the time I had finished, checked the oven twice, made my bed and fumbled through a few purses, they were here.
Helen and I sat in the back as Mandy had an impromptu driving lesson around my neighborhood. I didn't tell her, but Mandy, you are a pretty good driver, albeit a little jerky at times.
Some funny highlights:
- Evgeny: Parallel park, right here. Mandy: I REFUSE.
- After a swift turn, we found ourselves approaching Steeles, a rather large street. Evgeny suggested a three-point turn, but the execution took...a little time hehe. Another car had just turned down the road and honked his horn at Mandy. Hehe...
Anyways. After that, we made our way to the Danforth to pick up our painted clay pieces. They actually turned out quite beautifully (even if I forgot mine in Evgeny's car, and Carren's got chipped...sorry...:(...). Here is a picture of the pieces before they went into the kiln and got all shiny and glazy.
After picking them up, we made our way around the Danforth... so relaxing and pretty. There are lots of quirky little stores along the road. We went to a tea store and a funky accessory store called "Alchemy". The last time we went, we found this great little shop called "La di dah" which sold very dainty, unique items like jewelry and such. We also ate some yummy Greek (?) doughnuts dipped in honey. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...
Yup, we ventured back to our homes in the North and made our way to Mac. Mandy played a bit of football. It was such a pretty day, but it got a little boring waiting for her to finish. Hehe... I am definitely not physically talented in any areas of hand eye coordination, and neither was Helen. I actually really enjoyed talking to her. She's such a sweet and honest girl, so open and I learned a lot about her in the time we just talked alone. I've always thought I was so awkward and it was so hard for me to get to know people but I think slowly it is getting better? But maybe she just made it easy by being easy to talk to haha. (No credit for me! -.-) Anyways, I thought it was a very sweet moment and something to make note of. We went to dinner afterward, and Grace joined us. We wanted to try Russian food, but settled for something familiar... Wings. I've been trying to be healthier... lol... and ordered a BBQ pork sandwich WITH A SALAD... But I don't think it had the effect I had wanted. It was a mediocre dinner, but that was fine.
After we dropped Grace off at home, we went BACK to FV to try to buy Mandy's grandmother a nice mother's day gift. We also bought the ingredients for...MACAROONS!
LOL did you think we made these?
Here are ours:
Yeah. Helen was so disappointed, it was so cute. DON'T WORRY, WE WILL TRY AGAIN!!
We baked and watched a bit of Step Up (the first one, with Channing Tatum dancing and acting like a gangster), I got to play a bit of Loco Roco... It was a fun day. Fun in the sun, shiny and golden and free with good friends. Cynthia drove me home afterwards and I got to talk to her alone too, which doesn't happen very often. I don't know. Maybe I am overly sentimental but I find those moments so sweet. NO ONE ENDS UP BEING TOUCHED BUT ME!
:) o
It was a very beautiful day, the kind of May day with no clouds in the sky. Just an endless blue canvas that stretches out towards the horizons, streaked with sunlight. 18 degrees Celsius, beautiful spring weather by any standard (not just Canadian!). In the afternoon it almost felt like 20+ degrees, it was just that warm.
I love Spring!
I had slept pretty early the night before (just around 1:30 AM), but woke up very late. I finally got up at around 12:00 PM (even though we had plans to meet at around 11:30!). I made myself a pretty great sandwich of: tomato, cheese, a toasted croissant and honey mustard. Mmmm...... By the time I had finished, checked the oven twice, made my bed and fumbled through a few purses, they were here.
Helen and I sat in the back as Mandy had an impromptu driving lesson around my neighborhood. I didn't tell her, but Mandy, you are a pretty good driver, albeit a little jerky at times.
Some funny highlights:
- Evgeny: Parallel park, right here. Mandy: I REFUSE.
- After a swift turn, we found ourselves approaching Steeles, a rather large street. Evgeny suggested a three-point turn, but the execution took...a little time hehe. Another car had just turned down the road and honked his horn at Mandy. Hehe...
Anyways. After that, we made our way to the Danforth to pick up our painted clay pieces. They actually turned out quite beautifully (even if I forgot mine in Evgeny's car, and Carren's got chipped...sorry...:(...). Here is a picture of the pieces before they went into the kiln and got all shiny and glazy.
Yup, we ventured back to our homes in the North and made our way to Mac. Mandy played a bit of football. It was such a pretty day, but it got a little boring waiting for her to finish. Hehe... I am definitely not physically talented in any areas of hand eye coordination, and neither was Helen. I actually really enjoyed talking to her. She's such a sweet and honest girl, so open and I learned a lot about her in the time we just talked alone. I've always thought I was so awkward and it was so hard for me to get to know people but I think slowly it is getting better? But maybe she just made it easy by being easy to talk to haha. (No credit for me! -.-) Anyways, I thought it was a very sweet moment and something to make note of. We went to dinner afterward, and Grace joined us. We wanted to try Russian food, but settled for something familiar... Wings. I've been trying to be healthier... lol... and ordered a BBQ pork sandwich WITH A SALAD... But I don't think it had the effect I had wanted. It was a mediocre dinner, but that was fine.
After we dropped Grace off at home, we went BACK to FV to try to buy Mandy's grandmother a nice mother's day gift. We also bought the ingredients for...MACAROONS!
We baked and watched a bit of Step Up (the first one, with Channing Tatum dancing and acting like a gangster), I got to play a bit of Loco Roco... It was a fun day. Fun in the sun, shiny and golden and free with good friends. Cynthia drove me home afterwards and I got to talk to her alone too, which doesn't happen very often. I don't know. Maybe I am overly sentimental but I find those moments so sweet. NO ONE ENDS UP BEING TOUCHED BUT ME!
:) o
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