Sometimes

Sometimes I want to change up my blog but I don't know how and I just plain don't want to. Man I suck.

Went to dinner with Mr. Brown today. It was nice, really, it was. I ordered some steak w/e it was bad. I'm sorry I DON'T LIKE BIG CHUNKS OF MEAT UGH. I've tried it and now I'm moving on from it. And apparently, it was good meat, so....guess it is just personal taste.

I'm getting scared now. I saw where I was living, saw the atmosphere, everything, the neighborhood, I don't know...It's so scary, now that I think about it. I won't be home anymore. There won't be things to eat whenever I'm hungry. There won't be someone I can talk to when I need to. No one will peel me oranges or wash me grapes when I'm studying like a banshee. No one will tuck me in and check if my windows are locked and closed. No one will do my laundry and remember which is my favourite shirt without me having to tell them. I won't have anyone dragging me on walks. There will be no more random trips to anywhere. No one will tell me to go to sleep. No one will make me sugar water and bring me bananas and advils when I can't walk from cramps.

Maybe I should have grown up sooner, because that would make this so much easier. Because then, I would be stepping into bigger shoes, rather than being thrown into them.

I hope I can fill them...

I could go on...

No more wake up calls, or drives to school. No more feeling if I have a fever. No more asking permission to go anywhere. No one will be waiting for me to come home from school.

Mommy I think I will miss you coming into my room in the morning and opening my windows the most. Because no matter how many friends or awards or gifts or clothes or whatever I have, nothing will be able to replace the comfort of being waken up by you.

I'm really scared, but I guess I have to go...