Before

If you could see who I was before, who I really was, you would either hate me or pity me. I can't stand that.

I was once telling stories to a friend, and they told me, "hold up. Are you lying to me? You're making this up."

"What do you mean? It's all true."

"It doesn't sound like you. The entire mood is wrong."

...Yah, I hate her too.

I hate who she was and I pity the hell out of her. Sucks that it was me. I'm writing again. Partly inspired by that girl's book. I've been reading it every night before I go to bed. The sections are short and pretty interesting. I just skip the ones that don't interest me. But she has interesting things to say, and I like to read them.

So I've been starting on Windows, because it is the most outstanding piece of work I have (by outstanding, I mean unfinished, like an outstanding bill. Not like WOW IT'S AWESOME.) Haha, writing it is nice. I enjoy myself, sort of. But I have to read all the emails and chat logs again, and it's kind of depressing. I see who I was and I almost want to cry again, because the angst is so deep.

Ugh, I HATE her. She's the kind of person people look at and shake their heads in disbelief over.

Even though you hurt me, I was a terrible girlfriend. Always was.

What about now? I don't even know. It's been a while, since I've had to act that part, and I think that will continue. I'm happy now, finally. I don't think I could go back to that.

OKAY I took a break from writing, and I talked to a bunch of peeps and now I'm happy again. :D YAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

BYE EMO JENN HOPE I NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN. :) You were in for a while, but now you are so out. You are on an event horizon. ;D