Boomdeyada

Hey. Things happened. Let's break them down.

1) ...I dunno why, but I hesitate every time I say it.

Okay, so I was in a car accident yesterday. Lol it was kind of wacked out. We were going to this churchy picnic/play day thing. I thought the car ride was about 2 hours, so I was listening to music...Yah.

So we got a little lost, and I guess once we had turned around, we started back in the right direction. It was around 9:56 am that time (Haha I had just checked the clock). So we got to and intersection and were going straight, and then out of freaking no where, all of a sudden, there was this big black SUV in front of us, racing to the other side of the road.

I dunno, it was the first time this had ever happened to be, but I thought time just...slowed down. I saw the black car, and I thought, "We are going to hit that car". And then we hit it, and spun out. My brother was just like screaming, and it scared the crap out of my mom. I looked at him and then BAM, we hit a light post, and we stopped spinning and I hit my head on the window. Airbags were out, and I wasn't that scared while it was happening (I think I was just like...sitting there looking at everything). But I got really jerky when my parents were yelling at me to get out of the car, get out of the car.

Lol. People stopped their cars, came over, called 911. Haha I couldn't get out because I just couldn't get the seatbelt out and I was trying to get my phone to call 911, but I just couldn't think. Police came, firetruck came (firefighters were very nice. LOL, good taste, Ms. Stirling), EMS. They checked out my head, mom was freaking out. I got to ride in an ambulance. It was cool. EMS dudes were nice too.

The other car actually rolled over a few times. It only stopped once the wheel got caught on the fence thing of the highway. I was scared for that other guy, because I could just see his hand, shaking shaking shaking through his window. But eventually he climbed out, and it was just him in the car. He came out yelling, "Oh man, oh man I saw children in that car. Were there children? Oh man, oh man I made a mistake."

We were all okay, I guess, but I just wanted to cry. Like man, I saw that car in front of us and I just thought, "We're going to hit that car."

...This kind of made me realize a few things.

LOL, yah I guess this could have ended worse, but I'm not having one of those life/death epiphanies of where I should cherish life and enjoy living. Haha, I think I already got that. When it happened though, I kept thinking, "What did I do that was so bad that karma is doing this?".

Just made me realize people deal with things differently. Brother's psyche just snapped, he was screaming the scariest kind of scream. Just hollow and deep and full of fear. I feel like I live through a screen. No fear, no aftershock. Things just happened, and I just happened to be there. Feel like it's kind of sick though. I'm not a passionate person. I don't feel things...and I guess if I do, I don't let go enough to really feel things.

I guess what I'm saying is, even in the midst of everything, I would never be able to snap out of my mind long enough to scream with pure natural fear. There would always be another part of my mind occupied with something else, with thought. Haha, once again, I just think too much.

Employers, that's my weakness.

Anyways, some happier things. I rode in an ambulance today. Haha, kind of cool. Umm I had a nice night too.

2) Summer school tomorrow. I hope I meet some cool peeps, who I can feel comfortable around and open enough. I figure that the people going to summer school must be closer to my "kind" than others, haha.

I don't mean to discriminate...actually maybe the opposite. I feel very little and small and unworthy around people my age a lot. I don't feel better, I feel worse. Haha, let's see what happens.

3) I don't think I'm going to give up. It won't work, even if I win, but I don't intend to win or lose. :) JUST GONNA FIGHT. (Y)

4) That's it. Go home.